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21 Nothing says 'cheap cash-in' like the number 2 in a title. Nothing says 'can we stretch this any further?' like the number 3. And of course nothing says 'beat that dead horse bitch! beat it!' like the number 4. We hate a bad sequel as much as anyone. We love to say "they should have just stuck with one, what a bunch of losers!" as we turn off Back To The Future Part 3. We love to put down the remote after Gremlins 2 and go "that was just like the first one." And just like everyone else we love to throw our copy of D3: The Mighty Ducks through a plate glass window. So with those thoughts in mind we've compiled a list of what we feel are 21 Notable Really Bad Sequels. PD
This is a History Lesson. Shrek 2 is like cancer just without the jokes.
Scary Movie 2 is my vote for worst film of all time. Un-Funny doesn’t even begin to describe this utterly terrible waste of 83 minutes of your life. It’s uninspired. It’s lame. It has clown rape in it. What more do you need? It is the reason there is a Scary Movie 3 and 4… and soon to be arriving 5… and then 6… and then… *slits wrist* The good news is the Wayans Brothers learnt from their mistakes and are now making high class films like White Chicks & Little Man… *SHOOTS SELF IN HEAD*
By no means a Scary Movie 2 or even a Shrek 2. Indiana Jones & The Temple Of Doom makes the list for taking one of the greatest film characters and kicking him in the balls. Luckily The Last Crusade more
than makes up for the sins of The Temple but what a list of sins they
are: Liam
It was hard to pick this over
Batman Forever as both films contained two major faults. Firstly they
were directed by Joel Schumacher who the producers must have likened to
Tim Burton from films like ‘The Lost Boys’ and ‘Flatliners’
Unfortunately for them these movies although off-beat, sucked arse. Which
proves that just because you film things in a unique style doesn’t
make it a good one. The second major flaw is Chris O’Donnell as
Robin. Now this guy is bland, whiney, gay and his acting range doesn’t
go far past a fence post. This of course makes him perfect to play Robin…I
just hate the little pounce.
Ok the first Aliens film was kinda horror suspense and doesn’t put a foot wrong. The second film had more of an action feel and is possibly the best sequel out there. It didn’t just take from the original; it built on it. The third took a major step back. Granted no one could have foreseen just how ugly Sigourney Weaver would be without hair. This still doesn’t make up for a completely bland plot and lack of action or suspense. It didn’t even have the awesome visuals of the first two films. I can’t bag out David Fincher though, the man’s a genius.
Ok not strictly sequels in
their own right, however these ending went on for so long and were so
boring that you actually forget everything that happened in the film. Stevey G
Pope deaths? Papal banking? Sofia Coppola *ahem*... "Acting"... *ahem* Godfathers I and II were ace. You ruined the legacy, Francis Ford Coppola. At least Sophia managed a about-face. The Virgin Suicides and Lost In Translation are two of contemporary cinema's triumphs. Lets hope Sophia doesn't continue the Coppola tradition of spoiling legacies and steers clear of The Virgin Suicides: Double-Take and Lost In Translation: Translation Found.
The shittiest sequel to a musical career - EVER! Maybe it was a marketing device for the Some kind of Monster documentary. Maybe the documentary was a marketing device for this pile of steamy dog turds. At any rate, the music sucks. The films a good view, though.
For starters, Cheaper by the Dozen was, as my mate from Manchester says, 'a fookin' 'eap of shite'. What ever possessed the normally sane folk at Fox to make another? CASH! And plenty of it. There must be some sort of demographic that laps this crap up. What makes Cheaper By The Dozen 2 even worse is the fact that, in addition to most of the original cast, it stars perennial sequel-spoiler Eugene Levy. "Hey, back off poor ol' Gene!" No, I won't. Eugene Levy plays the annoying Dad character found in the American Pie franchise of films. A franchise that now expands to 5 titles (American Pie: The Naked Mile - coming to DVD bargain bins everywhere soon). Even Ashton Kutcher knew when to pull the plug on Cheaper... And, it doesn't even have an
imaginative title. Marcus
After much thought, I have chosen to combine my allocated ‘worst 3 sequels.’ The result of which creates the one overbearingly appalling film ever to waste 2 hours of my time and 13 of my dollars. Any guesses? That’s right, for those of who haven’t guessed already, its X-Men 3: The last stand. So Magneto and his other crappy pals are back, and this time they are recruiting more pathetic kids to join their possie. A stand out performer being a hugely powerful ‘mutie’ who can grow spikes from his face! Wow. Here is a picture of him:
Oh, and he has tats. Hero. But seriously, this movie is bad on another level. It is the same as the first two movies with the addition of a few novel new characters which for some reason left the audience in either hysterics or yelling out things such as “woo go ice-man!” or “Beast is soooo cool!” WTF? Why are these people yelling in the cinema? Fast forward a few fights and many cheesy one-liners and the end credits are rolling. What just happened? Half the characters are dead and I don’t know what’s going on. All the nerds are cheering, but I’m just scared…and hungry. Oh well, at least Wolverine finally got to make out with Jean Grey, I guess he’s happy. What about us Wolverine? What about us…. Stu
Worst Quote: The Mummy was a decent movie, a nice trashy popcorn movie that you could enjoy even if you werent really paying attention. The Mummy Returns is its painful little brother. For all the Peter Aykroyd's in the world that guy, hey, if my brother is loved by the world, they must love me too! Wrong! The Mummy Returns, like Peter Aykroyd, isnt impressive at all. The noteable annoying addition to this one is they have a child. The kind of child that annoys the hell out of everyone within a two kilometer radius. Possibly the only reason this movie was made was just to give Brendan Fraser one more chance to yell a commentary through a movie
Worst Quote: Now there are alot of sucky horror films out there. ALOT of sucky films. Scream 3 is by no means the worst of these films, but when standing next to Scream and Scream 2, it is very poor. First off, it wasnt written by Kevin Williamson, so it isnt even allowing the original writer to write something as clever. Its allowing some no body to write something stupid. The fact that this writer was so unimaginative that he had to go "ok, i need someone to explain trilogies! hmmm, what would Williamson do? USE RANDY MEEKS! oh wait, Randy is dead....ok, ill just get him to make a video about trilogies! GOLD!" A massive let down from the first two movies.
Worst Quote: The problem with this movie is quite clear. John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd and the funny one dies. So you replace them with John Goodman. Didn't anyone ever tell Aykroyd that Belushi had something about him that was funny beyond him just being fat? What was funny about Blues Brothers was the ridiculous chase scenes that were just over the top, not the dancing. And lordy, Blues Brothers 2000 has more dancing than you can stomach. Added to that they threw a kid blues brother in there. A disaster for any comedy. Wise ass children. Why do they keep thinking people find this funny?
Worst Quote: This is one of the worst movies I have ever seen. And I mean ever. It gets rid of our hero from the first movie, Keanu, but keeps the annoying part of the first one, Sandra. There is one part in this movie where there is this light that constanly pulses on and off and hurts your eyes to watch. This light continues for 15 minutes! We had to fast forward this section of movie. Probably the easiest way to describe Speed 2 for all those who havent seen it. Its just Speed 1, but replace the Bus with a Boat, and after every single surprising twist have Sandra Bullock quip "Not again!"
The Sting was a great movie. So great that is won the acedemy award for best picture. So what do you do with a movie that wins best picture? Why you make a crappy sequal of course! and this isnt Rocky II crappy, this is worse than that. None of the actors actually came back to repeat their performances. So say goodbye to Paul Newman, Robert Redford and Robert shaw, and say hello to Jackie Gleason, Mac Davis and Oliver Reed. Anyway, they are back to their old conning schemes, but in this one they attempt to convince Macalinski, the new evil, that Mac Davis is a champion boxer. No suprising it takes Macalinski some convising, and double surprising, this one didnt win an acedemy award! go figure.. Brenty
The Matrix was easily one of the best films that I have seen. The whole idea of people living out their lives through a computer program and not knowing it was a great story. It WAS a great story line before they fucked it up by bringing the next two films in the series out. Suddenly the main character, Neo, is not only kicking ass in the Matrix, where he has super powers, but kicking ass in the real world. Neo is not meant to have any power in the real world but apparently he has become a god and can do whatever he wants in either world. So by bringing out two bad sequels that don’t make sense, the creators of this series have pretty much ruined the first film. I loved the Matrix. That’s right loved, past tense. I loved it until I was shattered by the sequels and the lame story lines that they contained.
I really liked the first in this horror series. It’s about a little doll that gets possessed and starts killing people. A simple story line but a good one also. The first three films are all about the doll running around killing people and are all decent second rate films. However 7 years after the third some whack job thought it would be a good idea to bring the doll, Chucky, back and give him a wife. Why the hell does a little, killer doll need a wife? So Chucky finds another possessed doll to be his wife and they go around killing people together. If that isn’t bad enough, they brought out a fifth movie in this series that should have stopped at three. The fifth movie, Seed of Chucky, is about the child that the two possessed dolls have. Ok, I can handle two possessed dolls getting married but this is just stupid. Dolls can’t reproduce. What the hell is going on? The whole storyline of this fifth movie is how the new born doll grows up but doesn’t want to kill. It is like Chucky meets married with children. This is more of a comedy than a horror film. I’m surprised they didn’t have an audience laughing in the background after each lame joke they made.
This was a good series of films that, unfortunately, went down hill. The first and second movies were both good, funny movies. Then the third came out which is where the trouble begins. Sure this one had Stifler eating some dog poo but this wasn’t quite the film that the last two were. Still it was a half decent film with most of the original cast playing a role in the film. I can’t say the same for the forth and least watched film in the series. The forth American Pie: Band Camp is clearly a crappy spin off of the originals. This one has no characters from the previous movies except for the Shermanator, Stifler’s little brother and Jim’s dad. What the hell happened to everyone else? The story line is about Stifler’s bro trying to be like Stifler and having fun in college. Somehow is ends up at band camp and the movie shows the wacky things that happen there….but with no good characters or storyline. Lets just pray that these guys don’t make a fifth film. G
The 2 bad boys are back and more badass than ever. This movie much as the first one follows the bitchin’ gun slinger from the west side Mr Fuck You Up SMITH, who is doing it tough without his partner. Half way through the movie Mr. Old Man Jones manages to make it back on the scene and they save the world from something stupid. MIB II truly lacks any class that the first MIB showed glimpses of, it’s a if they pissed out the plot and flushed away any funnies
Perhaps the hardest of the movies for me to put in the charts, as most will know I’m an avid fan of the first Predator, but most will also understand why this flick well deserves its placing in the charts. I think I know why this movie failed so dismally as well, please allow me to demonstrate: THIS THIS
SEE THE PROBLEM?
I think I died a little bit inside when I watched these. Land Before Time the original was for me, and many others, one of those childhood flicks that was watched a dozen times a month and for many like myself would still enjoy watching it. The rest of the series plays out like a good dose of cancer, the dino’s fart around solving a ridiculous problem or escaping another dino while singing about how fat spike is. Smoking
Tree Staff |
