Slipknot -
Left Behind

If you're walking down the street and you spot a young lad wearing a Slipknot t-shirt you can usually refer to them by the Dutch word 'slechte smaak' which, loosely translated, means 'boy with bad taste'.

Slipknot is the kind of band you claim to like if you describe yourself using the words 'hardcore' or 'knobjockey'.

Nobody really likes Slipknot, but a lot of people like the idea of Slipknot. A bunch of guys dressed up in EVIL looking costumes playing really loud music really loudly while singing about death and vermin and all sorts of 'hardcore'/'knobjockey' things like that.

For a taste, here's their video clip for their "song" Left Behind.

Slipknot consists of 9 band members (for those of you playing at home that's 6 more than necessary).

They go by the monikers "0", "1", "2", "3" and so forth. Oh can't you imagine the fights over who would get the be the uber-mysterious "0".

These guys are so hardcore that this song was nominated for a Grammy.

They lost to Linkin Park.

For those not in the know (ie: people who prefer their music with more music.) the band consists of the following friendly faces.

Death Face, Clown Man, Grizzly Adams, Chopstick Face, Dead Guy, Sting, Big Long Pointy Nose Guy, Goth Guy, and Death Face 2.

And with identity's that original and out there imagine what the lyrics are like!

I've known
Faces that have disappeared in time
Find me wraPped in glass and slowly soaked in oil
(Look out there Knot of the Slip you're lyrics are starting to sound a bit... what's the word? Emo?)
All my
Friends have pictures made to make you cry
(Yeah you tell them. You scream those lyrics. That'll let them know its THE TRUTH. REAL. HARD. CORE.)
I've seen this and wondered
What i've done to calcify
(Calcify? He's actually made the mental choice to go with the word CALCIFY.)

(I ignore you)
As i close my eyes,
I feel it all slipping away
(Actual lyrics from Miss Gloria Estefan's song 'Close My Eyes':
Sometimes I wanna close my eyes
So I can't see time while slipping away
Am I saying Slipknot ripped off Gloria Estefan? You be the judge.)
(i come towards you)
We all got left behind,
We let it all slip away
(Its all a bit too Backstreet Boys For The Metal Crowd for my liking...)

I can't stand to see
Your thalidomide robot face
(Again with the obtuse lyrics. Are Slipknot just trying to encourage their fanboys to read a dictionary once in a while? My check of dictionary.com reveals 'thalidomide' to be:

a crystalline, slightly water-soluble solid, C13H10N2O4, formerly used as a sedative: if taken during pregnancy, it may cause severe abnormalities in the limbs of the fetus.

Deep.)
I Don't even try it
You had to be a liar
Just to infiltrate me
(Your mum infilitrates me.)
I'm still drowning!

(I ignore you)
As i close my eyes,
I feel it all slipping away
(I come towards you)
We all got left behind,
We let it all slip away
(Repeat Emo Chorus x5)

Take this away
Take this away
I can feel you in my mouth
(Gay.)
I can taste you on my fingers
(Gay.)
I can hear you like the Holy Ghost
(Double gay.)
And kill you if you get too close

Let's check the pulse of the online community and find out what those crazy YouTube commentors have to say:

OMFGyoukilledkenny (2 weeks ago)
LOVE IT this band is amazing...joey is soo good...hes like my fave drummer (next to jordan mancino)

First up did he register with YouTube in like 1998 or something? Seriously dude get a knew net handle (pssst: Family Guy's in right now, try that.)

And second: 'joey is soo good... hes like my fave drummer'. "Oh c'mon, I'm reading at home and I need you to clarify that. He's your FAVE drummer? Are you sure?" (next to jordan mancino.) "That's better. Thanks for clearing that up, I was worried that he was your FAVE drummer and he wasn't next to somebody."

WWEDivasRock328 (1 day ago)
dude i fought a greenday fan and her gave me ball shot and said 4 greenday so im guessing all greenday fans r gay Stay (sic) Maggots

What?

dude i read a slipknot comment and itr made no sense ball shot and said stay (sic) maggots but then maggots was spelt correctly so im guessing all slipknot fans are illiterate morons

forevrdisturbed (2 days ago)
well slipknot aint emo they r just rock and they r probably one of the best bands so dont go on sayin hiow depressing they r

Yeah man! Slipknot aren't emo! They're hardcore. They're not depressing at all. They sing about happy things like thalidomide robot faces.

Final Thoughts: I wish I could stand my own thalidomide robot face. Or at the very least know what he was talking about.

PD February 26th 2007