After listening to Slipknot
last week I was looking for something a little softer, and it doesn't
get much softer than Good Charlotte.
Here with their wannabe-Jet
titled song 'Keep Your Hands Off My Girl':
What is that?
When did Good
Charlotte go from ripping off Blink 182 to blatantly lifting Cake songs.
Tell me that doesn't
sound like a poor mans The Distance, or that he doesn't sound like he's
about to 'talk-sing' his way into a Short Skirt, Long Jacket chorus.
< What is THIS shit?
Did their record
label inform them that Simple Plan were beating them at the pussy-ass
pretend-punk for teens business and suggest they go more of the 'Jet/Maroon
5' route?
What happened
to the tats? The fringe?
< Just look at their new album cover!
If that doesn't
scream nu-rock I don't know what does. (Actually for that matter I DON'T
know what does. I think I just made nu-rock up.)
These guys were
always trying to be somebody else and now they've just sat down open up
the flood gates and seem to be waiting to be mocked.
Speaking of which,
let's look at the lyrics:
Let the
record play,
Let the record play,
Let the record play. (Yeah, seriously man. Just. Just. Just let the record play.)
The way that you dance,
The way that you move,
The way that you stare at me across the room, (At least with
Cake you got shit like: Reluctantly crouched at the starting line,
engines pumping and thumping in time. It wasn't Shakespeare but it
wasn't this shit.)
You carry Dior bags,
And you got your Chanel,
You wear Louis Vuitton, HG, and YSL, (I can just bet of the cash these guys got to name drop this
shit. I'm not suggesting that Good Charlotte are sell outs or anything.
They were never in, so they couldn't sell out.)
Now I got bathing ape,
I got DCMA
I got brass knuckles hanging,
From my neck in my chain, (What? You go brass knuckles hanging from your neck in your chain?
Who the fuck are you? Unk?)
I got a model 26,
But she stays in her place,
I got a Kershaw neatly,
Tucked inside in my waist. (WHO THE FREAK KNOWS WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT. Let me Google and
I'll get back to you. ... Oh, it turns out Kershaw is a brand of knife
and a manufacturer of railway maintenance equipment. So he has a railway
utility belt apparently.)
[Chorus:]
And the record keeps playing,
The same old song,
The hipsters mean muggin on me all night long, (Dude, you aint
da shit no more. Your shits old now, kids like Emo. You remember the fifteen
year olds you used to bang? They're gone, bro. It's been a while since
The Little Things. It's Panics! time now. Let them have it.)
They say "Aha, ahha",
Keep your hands off my girl,
Keep your hands off my girl,
They say "Aha, ahha", (Possibly the most annoying bit in a song peppered with annoying
bits. Oh yes, I said peppered.)
But the record keeps playing,
The same old song,
They say "Aha, ahha",
Keep your hands off my girl,
Keep your hands off my girl. (I get how it's supposed to be a clever play on 'Are You Gonna
Be My Girl'... wait. It is supposed to be a clever play on 'Are You Gonna
Be My Girl' right? I'm not just imagining that they made a black and white
video by COINCIDENCE am I? AM I?!)
Now she sweating my
friends,
And my hurricane shoes,
She likes the records I spin, (So now he's
the DJ? I don't understand.)
But out Adam Barton tattoos,
But she can't say "what's up",
So what does she do,
She just stays posted up,
The other side of the room,
I got AMC tattooed on my hand,
I got black wall street on a black bandana. (Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the world. We've gone from
'Come gather round people wherever you roam, and admit that the waters
around you have grown' to: 'I got AMC tattooed on my hand, I got black wall street on a black
bandana.' At least when Dylan made no sense it still sounded good.)
[Chorus:]
AND IT REPEATS ITSELF
ALL OVER AGAIN
If that's what passes for music
these days I'm glad I've stopped listening. But you know who never gives
up, never surrenders, never says die.
Those crazy YouTubers. They're
there at the starting line waiting to pump. They're on the pulse of society.
Let's here what they think
of Good Charlotte's latest offering:
cheeseman9325 (1 hour
ago) I love good charlottes new style
Yeah but I liked it better
when it was called The Bloodhound Gang. Actually, that's a lie. I can't
ever say I liked the Bloodhound Gang.
darkandtorturedsoul
(1 day ago) wowza how does he go that high!! lol
(Reply) (Spam) mrollo42 (8 hours ago) By not having any balls.
Hahahhahahahahahah. Lol.
Modpimp (4 days ago) For Cool T-Shirts & Hoodies click on my name and you can find
the address on my page, alternatively click on any of my vids and you'll
find it there too.
Oh wow. Cool T-Shirts &
Hoodies! Sick! I will click on your name rather than ignore you like the
whore that you are!
ikumithebunny (4 days
ago) when i heard this song at the first time, i was like, wtf.
but now, i feel this song is good tho its totally different from what
they used to be.
i like this song:)
It is different huh? Wow-wee.
Amazing point/counterpoint. He was all like WTF, and she was all like
'but I think it's good' and he was all like 'but it's totally different'
and she was all like 'maybe because what they used to be doesn't sell
records no more' and he was all like 'i like this song smiley face'
Final Thoughts: I never thought I'd ever say this out loud to anybody but: "Man,
I wish Good Charlotte would go back to making songs like 'Lifestyles Of
The Rich And... *shoots self in head*
< What is THIS shit?
< Just look at their new album cover!